Both of my babies are very unique little humans. In many ways, they are polar opposites, sort of like my husband and I. (Let’s pause here. Henceforth, my two little ones will be referred to as Juney and Huck for all blog purposes. My husband, let’s call him Wildhorse, does not like the idea of using our actual names on-line, which I completely understand (but secretly think is somewhat silly since most of you know me.) (Then again, I am very naive and think that most people are innately good.) (So, to be certain that my babies are protected, an alias is acceptable, and sort of fun.) For those that know my family personally, feel free to incorporate these names as you so choose. I am sure that Wildhorse will appreciate his new name. 🙂 ).
I have found that one of the most successful ways for me to parent two children is to be sure to take a few moments of quality time with each of them everyday. This is sometimes difficult (like everyday), considering I also need to take care of my husband, myself, my dogs, my house and all the other day-to-day “to-dos.”
Juney is brilliant. I am biased, but she really is quite impressive. She needs lots of attention. Like, L-O-T-S. If she gets bored, she finds herself in trouble (like her mom), so Wildhorse 😉 and I must constantly come up with crafts and projects for her to tackle. Huck is quiet, composed and loving. Unless he is hungry, he is extremely laid back (like his dad). He likes hugs and cuddles, baths and the outdoors. Sometimes, he is so chill that I am not sure if I have actually put him into the car when we leave to go somewhere. Yes, I’ve actually looked in back, just to be sure.
So considering their different needs and an increasingly busy schedule, it is beyond difficult to effectively find the time for quality, meaningful, and dare I say it, validating interaction. One of the biggest lessons I have learned as a mother, and…..homemaker (why do I despise this term so much??!!). Housewife? No way. Let’s try this again, “One of the biggest lessons I have learned as a mother and supreme-ruler-of-my-household/blogger/novice photographer” (much better) is that organization is the key to success. I am completely unorganized. So, am I failing?
I think not. My kids smile a lot. My husband, my Wildhorse (I can’t stop), kisses me hello when he gets home from work and seems to like me most of the time. I have accepted that while organization is important, it must not become an obsession. Your family is your life, not your stuff. Important lesson here, in my non-expert opinion, one that I struggle with often. Stop buying crap and start hugging your family. Stop organizing closets and go out and run in your backyard.
My house is typically messy, albeit in a warm, inviting way. Our bedroom is especially hodge-podge, which makes me stress because the Dr. Phil’s in this world equate the cleanliness of your bedroom to the quality of your marriage. If this is the case, we might be in a wee bit of trouble. Then again, I put the most work into keeping our master clean, which must be a good sign, right?
I guess what I’m getting at is that in learning to juggle two children, I have found that embracing my flaws is much easier when I have been a good mom–when I have given Juney and Huck that quality time. Today, while Juney was drawing circles, a feat she is very proud of as of late, I taught little Huck how to play Pat-A-Cake. While Huck was sleeping, I taught Juney to be a sassy model (hence the pictures) and showed her how I import them onto the computer, edit them, etc. She loved seeing herself, maybe a little bit too much. Not everyone’s cup of tea for quality time, but she was actually very interested! In taking the time to actually be a mom instead of just living the title, I learn so much about my babies.
Most days, I love my little family so much that my eyes well with tears, an emotional trait that I embrace. It makes me feel grateful. I am a very lucky lady, and only through forgetting about the stuff–the material, insignificant crap that means nothing or the expectations that I place on myself to live up to the standards of others–can I truly give my family what they need. I feel more myself when I am being a homemaker (blech. there, I said it), a mom, and a wife than I ever imagined. Instead of fighting it, trying to be someone else, I think I’d rather just embrace my life. It’s stressful; it’s messy. But, it’s mine.
I think as I get older, the term “quality” is constantly being defined and redefined. While Wildhorse and I love a good Cab (especially with an amazing filet, maybe some homemade creme brulee), I think we’d trade the tannins in for Juney slumber parties or Huck cuddles any day.
Listening to the rain, drinking tea while my kiddos are sleeping. Pumpkin scents fill my house. Chicken chowder in the crock pot. It’s been a good day. Hoping the same for you. Take a moment to breathe and embrace your life. It’s kind of awesome.
The Mommy Diarist
P.S. Working on establishing my own domain and some site edits, so please stick around during my technical tribulations.