After an amazing night with my book club ladies, I’ve felt a little bit inspired all day. I smiled a lot. I finished a few projects. I took a long walk, played in the leaves with my family. We grilled out for supper. Bed time went off without a hitch. I’ve checked Facebook and Pinterest. And now, it is me time. Ahhhhh…..
I LOVE my book club. Last night, we discussed The Help. I am not sure that I am absolutely in awe of the book, but it brought up a bunch of interesting topics to consider. Don’t get me wrong–I liked it. I consider myself to be a tough critic. I’d like to say that my elitist criticism is a result of my English degree, but really it’s mostly due to my extremely short attention span. It takes a lot for me to invest my time in a book. But, for sure, it was worth reading!
One of the conversation pieces we discussed to great length was the nature of unconventional friendships and the power of individuals to affect others (I know! Don’t we sound smart!). We all decided that we know a Hilly (for those who haven’t read, she is a major, major Bi-atch), wish we were strong enough to be a Skeeter (an independent thinker willing to take risks), but really, we were unsure who we would be when faced with impossible circumstances.
I have been thinking about this all day. I think maybe I used to be a Skeeter. When did I become so afraid to speak my mind? Maybe I am just too tired? Bored? Uninspired? In trying to assess my own abilities and strengths, I find that I am at a place in my life that I am not really sure who I am exactly. Let me just say, not in a freaky life crisis kind of way. I guess it’s kind of scary, but it’s also sort of amazing.
I remember doing a thinking-web in various writing classes (remember doing this? you draw a circle in the middle of a paper with the word “me” in it, then use lines to branch off and build a web in an attempt to define yourself according to your characteristics and roles?). For the record, I searched for an image to include, but could not find a good one that was not copyrighted (I don’t know the rules about that), and I’m not motivated to do my own right at this very moment in time. ANYWAY, after building the web, you’re left with all the things that your are–daughter, sister, mom, wife, American, voter, thinker, dreamer, amateur photographic genius, etc.. You get the point.
Upon completion, you are left with this page full of things that you are, according to yourself, to build upon and define further. Now that I have thoroughly confused you all, my point is this–questioning yourself and redefining yourself is crucial to living an authentic life (Skeeter). If you don’t take the time to check in with yourself, life becomes a bitter, indulgent place (Hilly). I know too many people who think they have all the answers, and I feel sort of sad for them. If you think you know it all, you stop evolving.
As for me, I definitively know very little, but I am always willing and hoping to learn.
I think most moms will agree that when you look at the world through the mom lens, it is a very different place. My web has definitely changed throughout my lifetime, which is fine. In fact, it’s perfect. I think that maybe this blog was inspired by those changes.
So, I think maybe now, like starting at this moment, I am on a quest to define my own life and find answers to all of life’s important questions (with a two-year-old and an eight-month-old in tow). HA! Easy enough, right? Time passes by too quickly, and I am not willing to forget about myself in the chaos (Channeling Ferris Bueller).
I want to surround myself with beautifully positive things and influences, indulge in my life, and see where I’m at. EEek! It’s kind of like a happiness journey. I am not really unhappy, but maybe just not living up to my greatest life potential? So from time to time, I will attempt to share my thoughts about this journey in order to achieve the intended results–a healthier, calmer, more intrinsically and externally beautiful self.
I am starting my journey tonite with Fage Cherry and Sons of Anarchy. 🙂
I hope you’ll keep reading.
The Mommy Diarist
P.S. SOOO many pictures to share!! Will get some up ASAP!